Wednesday, June 10, 2009

this post is not a post, or an update

we like to talk about how transforming change is.
compare growth to the change a caterpillar endures to become a butterfly.
like it's all beautiful. magic. poetry.
but some parts of growth and change are really hard.
sure, the final stages, when that beautiful butterfly stretches its wings out to the sky for the first time, are beautiful.
but what we get to see is only the end.
what happens inside that cocoon is a mystery.
what must happen to that caterpillars body to change into something so amazingly intricate, delicate and wonderous?
whatever it is, i imagine it must involve some sort of pain.
it has to.
i mean, all change has painful parts, doesn't it?
that little marching caterpillar, does it have an idea of what is to come?
and if it does, does it go into that little world, willingly, so it can transform into what it is to be - a newly winged beauty?
or does it fight and kick and resist this change, knowing it will leave behind its little legged world?
i have a feeling it goes willingly.
to fly.

i like to think these cocoon days i find myself in are just that.
days of cocooning, changing, growing, and awaiting with patience the day when the growing pains of change are over, and my new wings are strong, and colourful, and ready to stretch for a new world.
i know i just have to be patient.
you cannot rush change.
i can't.
this time anyway.

4 comments:

Red Shoe Artist said...

In my opinion, choice isn't always as black and white as some make out. Whether going into the cocoon willingly or not, it is vital for it's survival and the pain is short lived. To choose a different way, or reject your destined path may cause a life time of pain. Sometimes we have to take a long way around in order to come a short distance back. Provided we do this with our eyes wide open, we are never far from happiness/freedom. It's always within our reach, but sometimes it hides in out blind spot and we need to turn our heads slightly.
That's what I think anyway ;)
Have a happy day sista

Evangeline said...

Oh, I bet the caterpillar is sad to leave his "little legged world" when it is his time to move on. If he is anything like me, that is. Poor little guy.

I look forward to the butterfly changes that are coming K. Hang in there for the pain of the metamorphosis. Like the wise words of Red S.A. said above, it will be short lived. This too shall pass, this too shall pass...my mantra some days. But man, I hate the process and pain of change too. So I hear you, sistah friend.

mel carroll said...

I blog hopped over from a million universes and was smitten with this not a post, of course, it's about my favorite topic, change and my favorite critters! And then, in a giant duh moment, I realized that this is you! Geeze am I senile or what. I am following you now, so when you update us on this latest pondering, I will be in the loop. I want answers too. I think the caterpillar is mighty pissed in the coccoon, but is barely able to remember that life once he takes wing. I wish you a pain free metamorphasis. (Each caterpillar shed is called instar stage, I like that one too, the shedding of the skin, changing outward appearances, the little changes before the massive one....)
see you around the innerwebs :)

leel said...

@Red: You touched on it when you said "reject your destined path may cause a life time of pain." I feel like I'm rounding the bend BACK to my path as we speak. It feels like the long route, and it sorta makes me antsy and pissed and excited all at the same time.
I'm turning my head now and WOW it's cool to start to see things differently. Thanks friend! You are so wise. I so cherish your viewpoints. I always learn to look differently when I read your words! Hugs...

@E It's very much my nature to resist resist resist then all of a sudden, embrace, and then CHANGE, so to speak. I'm very much 100% or nothing that way. I am working on that as we speak, actually. It's so nice and comforting to know you feel the same way about it! Thanks E :) Hugs...

@Mel I'm so glad i lured you over so unknowingly with my nonpost and butterfly analogy! I always think "mel" when I think butterfly now, so the irony there is pretty thick. Cool! Thanks for the cool info: I love that the little changes are called instar stage - I didn't know that and it makes a lot of sense, the shedding part. COOL. Thanks Mel. Your love and wisdom are always so uplifting! Hugs...

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