Secret Bench, Lost Paradise

I lumber up the steps to the grand stone home of books & records dozens of times each year, past the Bench. One day, I had technology at my fingertips and snapped a moment in time, a moment of art imitating life & life imitating art. I love that.

Photo of Lea Vivot's Secret Bench, Lost Paradise, Ottawa, 2011.

 Have you witnessed life imitating art anywhere? Share it with me in the comments!

♥  leel

ps. be sure to check out yesterday's Design Sponge at Home Book Review & Giveaway! Don't miss out!

Design Sponge at Home -> a book review & giveaway!

Are you feeling it? That involuntary whole body yawn? Your compass pointing you in any direction that holds warmth and comfort and retreat? The need to come indoors and settle your weary ass down with a good book? Something with pictures to absorb and skim while drinking a warm beverage under a heavy blanket? Well I'm feeling it. Around here I refer to as November. If you are also crawling under the collective blanket of November, I might just have the perfect thing for you! 

You might remember a small little announcement of epic proportion I made in April regarding a certain project of mine being included in the Before & After section of Grace Bonney's bookchild, Design Sponge at Home. Well, guess what?! Yes, it's out! Yes, I have a copy in my hands! And no, I have not stopped flipping through, flagging projects to try, searching the reference section for suppliers and just oogling and absorbing all the amazing design finds. I carry it with me around the house. Not even kidding. 

Page 351!

 Where to even start?  If you have been to Grace's brainchild website, Design*Sponge online, you will have an idea of what to expect: a book full of creative finds, spaces and projects. (If not, well let me be the one to send you over. Go ahead. Check it out. Back? Ok.) First of all, the book itself serves as an accessory for any room. The perfect pop of colour for any side table or shelf. As you flip through it's easy to see that one thing is for certain, a designer clearly designed this book! The layout from cover to cover is so well thought out and enhanced with great side-tips in the margins (i love that!) as well as amazing photos and illustrations. It's timeless and organized and easy to navigate. It has a great flow from the photo driven Sneak Peeks at the beginning, where the inspiration lies, through to the meat of DIY Projects, Basics, Flower Workshop and Before & Afters and then onto my personal fave, the amazing Resource Guide section at the back.

Inspiration leaps off of virtually EVERY page. It's great to see how artists and designers have personalized their own spaces in meaningful ways that don't cost an arm and a leg. It's refreshing to see how others style their books, paint out trim, add a few pictures in an entrance way and make their spaces look unique and feel like a home. Not imaginary showrooms. Real homes real people live in. The book then provides project ideas and methods on how to actually personalize your own space. It never ends, people! Regardless of what design idea or project you are looking to take on, you can find inspiration and simple instruction for it in this book, which I really see as my new manual.

I'm pretty sure anyone would love this book. Guess what?! It just so happens the lovely people at Thomas Allen & Son, a Canadian Distributor and Publishing company, contacted me offering a free copy of the book as well as two more copies for my lucky Canadian readers! How fun is this? A great way to hibernate this winter and get your inspiration engines fired up? Yes and Yes.

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post by midnight (EST) Friday November 11! I will use a random number generator to pick winners, I'll e-mail the winners for shipping addresses and your book will be on the way. 

One comment per person please. Also, please make sure I can easily find an e-mail address to contact you!

Best of luck!

♥ leel

ps. If you missed Grace on The Nate Berkus show, check it out here!

Nov. 16th Update: Random.org generated #2 & #5. Both winners have been contacted and their books are on the way!

an update.

i've thought over dozens of posts in the months since i last posted. sporadic moments i envisioned in word form. none of those blips led me to actually writing anything down. it seems i've taken on the attitiude that my memory will serve me well, and that those moments will be there when i'm ready to sit down and write.  living them out and having time to reflect on the full picture - summer -  was my priority this year. just be-ing.

.

now, we're well into the end of summer. i'm slowing down. i'm wanting to write. that's weird for me. so, here we go. let's start with a general outline of my life this summer.

• Work: I had the opportunity to work a few different jobs this summer. It has suited my lifestyle and love of being involved in the arts, being outside and being creative perfectly. I have continued working with a national film organization that programs and hosts film festivals throughout the year. I have been working with them since 2008 and continue to work part-time during the film festivals. It's a joy to work with this bunch. Arts and culture are my home. Yay!  In addition to the festivals, which primarily run during the evenings, I have been working with a gardener again this spring, summer and fall. I have loved learning and executing amazing results with the team I was with. Having my hands in the dirt all day works for me, as it turns out. The satisfaction and creative fulfillment I took with me from each job well done and clients' reactions fueled me daily. So that's what I've been up to work-wise this summer and fall. 
• Fun: I've taken on a project this summer organizing some art and collectibles from around the globe spanning over 90 years. These collectables are things a friend's family are ready to part with. This family originated in England, came to Canada and the dad/grandfather traveled globally with a major shoe company as the main shop designer and creative merchandiser. You can only imagine what I have seen, held, photographed, catalogued and googled. Amazing pieces of history, culture. It's a dream project that I am actually very behind on. I'm currently in the research phase; 175 objects is a lot of googling. My next step is to find out some additional info from the family on origin, the stories behind the objects. (Look at me using my university degree! Yahoo!) I'll be visiting some local dealers all Storage Wars style to authenticate and market to buyers.Very fun indeed. I'll be sure to share some of the objects and their stories as I get further into the research.
• Vacation: We went to Portugal in August for 20 days. It was amazing, in so many ways. Being in Europe in the summer is fantastic. Getting to know my husband's family, and in turn my husband, was nothing but fulfilling and full of love. The days along the coast are long, hot and cool at night. The food fresh and prepared with love.The breezes off the water cool the tiled and shuttered cities down. No rain for 20 days. Days at the beach? 10 or 12? Days in the mountains, 3. Amazing, all of it. I have 900 pictures to go through. Once I have an edited version I will for sure be posting a slideshow here. So many stories. Stay tuned.
• Pets: we have a new one. I know. The Bub went to the pet store for pet food (on my birthday) and came home with a girl kitten. That brings the grand total to 2 (old) dogs and 3 (young) cats, pushing us very close to 'Those People" status. The new kidden is already going outside and killing anything cute within a 1 house radius. Her total so far? This week? 1 mouse, 2 birds, a chipmunk and a this morning? a HUMMINGBIRD. The embodiment of beauty and wonderment in nature, left on my doorstep, chest open wide, eyes pinched shut, pointy beak bent back. I have dubbed May the devil kitten and she's not allowed out until the snow flies. I can't handle it. I don't even kill spiders. There we go. Pets. 
• Creativity: my focus has been outside, on my gardens. I've been learning to prune and loving every second of it. Working on expanding and cleaning out my own gardens is a huge chore but I find the reward of seeing the final product so worth it.  I recently took a client's overgrown evergreen shrub that was going to be pulled out due to its overpowering state on the patio and made it a focal point by removing the overgrowth and pruning it back into a bonsai shape. It was like sculpting. I'm addicted. That being said, all the furniture fun, painting fun, DIY upcycle goodtime fun has been literally thrown to the side. My studio has become the storage room for a few months and OMG it's making me twitch. I'm looking forward to getting at reorganizing and purging a lot in there once the snow flies. For now, I might aim to get a few pieces I've promised people done and hopefully that will get me back on track creativity wise. I'm such an ebb and flow person. All or nothing. 

So that's a small glimpse into what i have been up to. I feel like I can now start to share some of the individual images and stories from my summer as I go forward into fall. That might be fun.

hope you are well,

♥ leel

monday morning madness.

well, hello there! happy monday!

things are weird; i thought i'd share.

it was sort of mid to late morningish. i should have been up and functional like the rest of the world. i was not.

the dogs were in their beds on the floor in our room, i was slightly conscious. off goes our god awful sound of a doorbell. the hounds take off like bats out of hell, tripping over each other, yipping and yapping like lunatics, sliding down the hardwood stairs only to bark and jump at the window beside the door like the complete assholes they can be.

i'm up! my crazy ponytail's askew and my bedhead is out of control. i'm wearing a blue v-neck t-shirt and pj pants have roosters on them. no bra. omg.

the door bell goes again! off i go, not caring any longer what i'm wearing since i think i know what's going on; it's probably a kid from the school yard behind our house. i can hear it's recess. it must just be a ball in our back yard they need retrieved. this happens at least once a week in the spring and fall. i just need the dogs to stop! barking! already!

i crack open the inside door with the 2 maniacs trying to nudge open the outer glass door with their pointy little faces and see a man standing with 2 kids behind him. ok, teacher on recess duty and kids who lost ball. standard, here we go. i say through the glass, motioning to the backyard, "is there a ball in the yard?" and he says "no". oh geeze. i'm going to have to open the door and converse with this man. AND not let the dogs get out AND not him get a whiff of me AND keep my arm across my chest. awesome.

.

i manage to slide the dogs out of my path with one leg while cracking open the door with the other. i say hello, distracted by dogs. and so the conversation begins.

mumble mumble... i was trying to get into your neighbours house, he died and i can't get in.

my neighbour died? which neighbour? (struggling to comprehend, thinking of young father living beside us)

yah, two or three weeks ago, he lived 3 down, Mr.HP. i drove down to see about buying his land he had that i used to hunt on, he and his wife were up there last year. i guess he got prostate cancer. i'm trying to find someone who knows about it and i can't get in. do you know anything about it?

Mr.HP died? I didn't know that he had cancer.

yah, it was two or three weeks ago, you didn't know? he has a wife in one of the nursing homes over there (points). he lived here for like 35 years - how long have you lived here? um, 8 years? yah, well he lived here for 35 years.

(in my mind i'm thinking eaaaasy big feller, you can't even remember how long ago it was he died, don't know where his wife resides, and want to buy his land? BACK OFF.)

yes. i knew him, well, actually my ex did. he used to go flying with him. that was a long time ago, i haven't spoken to Mr.HP for years. i saw him out rarely but would see him drive by with his wife when he would take her out for a drive from the nursing home.

yah, well he died two or three weeks ago and i don't know who to contact about his land and can't get into his house.

(pause. i look to two kids standing behind him on my walkway. ???)\

have you talked to any other neighbours? the one who lived closer, they might know something more.

nobody else is home. (except me, the lazy kid, i think)

i'm sorry to hear he died.

thanks, well, i guess i'll try the neighbours on the other side then.

that's probably your best bet. they knew him, i think.

well, thanks.

no problem. thanks for letting me know.

off he goes, leather bomber jacket done up tight to combat the chill of this day. i think about Mr. PH and how i'm sad i didn't know for 3 weeks that he had died. he and his wife have no children, no relatives. we was from germany, she austria. they met at the university in the 60's when he was a recent immigrant doing construction and she a music teacher. he was quiet about his past, owned airplanes, could fix anything and his wife was in a home suffering from dementia.

that's about all i know.

i knew him briefly when my ex and i bought this place. he came down the street with questions about permits as we took on renovating our house. what started off as confrontation soon became friendship for us, more for my ex since the man did piss me off more than i like to admit. soon after my ex and i broke up we stopped speaking. he was still friends with my ex and remained in contact with Mr.PH as of the last time i ran into him, a few months ago at his workplace. (awkward)

look up to 2 kids faces: hi there!? is there a ball in my yard you need?

yah, a blue one. have you seen it?

let me get some clothes and shoes on. i'll check.

close door.

and so my day began. it was weird. there was a line-up at my door. 

so now i'm going to clean my house. my mom is on a school break and she is on her way over to help! and she's bringing coffee. *dance* have a great one, lovelies.

♥ leel

an announcement of the amazing kind

*clears throat and twists rings nervously*

thank you for stopping by today! it's an exciting day for me, and i'm glad you stopped by to peek in on the official announcement i have to make.

let's go back a bit first: while i've known this little secret for a while, i was ever leary about uttering the words out loud until i knew FOR SURE that this was really happening. i mean, who wants to be the kid who says "hey guys, i made the team" only to find they were cut the day before the jerseys were even handed out? NOT THIS KID. also, i have lived and worked enough in life to know that nothing is done until it's actually DONE done. you know this. you get it.

so what's my news? well, to me it's kinda a big deal. i'm going to be in a book! well, not ME, but one of my creations and designs is! it's a style and home design book. it's coming out in the fall. it's authored by none other than her royal style majesty Grace Bonney, creater of the one and only Design*Sponge website, it's the Design Sponge at Home book!

can you stand it?!

so, there was a call a long time ago for projects, i replied with a couple of photos and a link to a blog post and now, one of MY Vintage Suitcase Tables (I won't tell you which one) is going to be in the Design Sponge at Home book. i am so flattered and excited and still convinced it's not really happening that it feels weird to even be typing this out. ANYWAY. the book comes out in September, Grace is heading out on a huge booktour very soon and can already be pre-ordered online.

here's some info from the publisher:

Grace Bonney created her daily Web site Design*Sponge as an antidote to the fussy (and expensive) shelter magazines of her mother’s generation. The New York Times has dubbed the site, with its 60,000 daily readers, “Martha Stewart Living for millennials.”

DESIGN*SPONGE at Home is Bonney’s definitive guide to home décor for her fellow design sponges—those house-proud young homeowners and renters who adore soaking up design ideas and using them as inspiration to decorate and personalize their own homes. This design compendium contains peeks of 75 real-life interiors, where the décor was culled from flea markets and the owners’ imaginations, as well as more than 100 projects (with detailed instructions) from a table made out of abandoned chair legs to a butterfly dome.

Packed with hundreds color photographs and illustrations, this beautiful book includes a decorating basics section with tutorials on everything from stripping and painting furniture to hanging wallpaper and doing your own upholstery. Along the way, Bonney—whose enthusiasm and joy in her subject is infectious—teaches the reader the principles of decorating and collecting, empowering them to create beautiful homes of their own.

Grace Bonney is the creator of Design*Sponge, a daily Web site dedicated to home and product design. A native of Virginia Beach, Grace has worked as a contributing editor at publications like House & Garden, Domino, and Craft Magazine. In 2006 Grace founded the Design*Sponge Biz Ladies series, a traveling event designed to connect women running their own design-based businesses with free legal, financial, and marketing advice.

so a big thank you to Grace, for including me in the book and teaching me my ideas are worth looking at, for answering every e-mail and tweet i sent asking if i had been edited out yet with a swift positive response, and for not editing me out in the end. thank you Grace. you have no idea what this means to me.

also, to my interweb tribe: the comments and feedback and e-mails on any thing i post here is what fuels me. i appreciate any glance at the site, your comments are gold. thank you. thank you. thank you.

♥ leel

not any nan.

when i say 'nan' i get quiet for a second. i usually smile. i don't quite know how to put my maternal grandmother into words. she was, as we all are, a true one of a kind. in my very biased opinion she was unique, she was of the top level of the best kind. you would have loved her. most did. she would have loved you too. she was like that.

when i think of my nan i think of laughing and smiling. and nice nails and chunky eclectic jewelery. her hands, she had lovely small hands. and elegant smoking. and eating. and books. and her sweet perfumey smell. and her hugs. fierce hugs. she would grab at me as i walked by the dining room table just to steal a hug and tell me how much she loved me. she was also independent. she separated from my grandfather in the late 60's. he was a musician and a binge drinker, but they remained best friends until the day his liver gave out in the 80's. that woman knew how to love properly, if there is such a thing. i learned how to love through her.

i don't know very much about her family, just random fuzzy names and waxy memories of stories she told about growing up in newfoundland back when she did. i don't even know when or why she left her home and made her way to new brunswick, my mom's home, our home for a long time. she went back for a period after retirement and renovated the house she was born in. she always was a proud newfoundlander and people soon learned to keep those oh-so-hilarious newf jokes to themselves. she had no time for that bullshit and would tell you. she was feisty.

it's rather odd to think of my grandmother in this way, her resounding influence on who i am. i mean, considering we never once lived in the same city. it's not like i grew up with her down the street, yet that never seemed to matter. for the first 10 years we all lived in the maritimes, we were always 3-7 hours away from each other. we saw her on holidays and any weekend she was nearby. her travelling job brought her into town often. once we moved to the middle (ottawa) it changed that frequency, but she was still on the phone with us and visiting us here for a few months in the winter or my uncle in toronto, so it wasn't like there was a huge lack of nan.

i always used the think the connection we had was normal, the way all grandchildren and grandparents interacted together. i soon learned what we had was special, not just from our own time together but the story of my grandmother and i as a unit. it was just another story among stories, yet it was ours and ours alone.

as an adoptee i've always had a bit of a different story of how i came into the world. i was told of being wanted, and waited for. 11 months my parents wait for me. in 1973 that was about the standard amount of time for a childless couple to wait for a healthy baby. my mom would tell me how the sun came out and sunshowers filled the bright air on the day she was told of my existence. how the day they brought me home was the day god's gift arrived, a baby made especially for them. i would hear of how they drove straight home and stripping me naked and just staring at my 7 week old toes and fingers, in utter fascination and awe. i was told of the next door neighbour coming over and pushing my mom out of the way to bathe me in the sink since she was so afraid i would slip and she'd drop me. i was, and still am, adored.

my nan's story, i would learn later. i remember my grandmother being a traveller and woman on the go. she loved the beach (hello shediac!) and mexico. she was always fun to be with. that was the nan i knew. what my grandmother would share with me as i got older was her own take on my arrival. i can remember at some point being upset about something or feeling unloved or some bs you feel when you're mad at your parents and my grandmother taking me in her arms and telling me her side of my arrival story. she would stroke my hands or my hair and tell me of feeling lost and lonely in the world. her kids were gone, she travelled a lot, was stressed about family and her job. she found herself in the darkest point of her life, sitting in a hotel room in sidney, nova scotia. she would often tear up at this point, and smile at me. i never pressed for details. she told me of the phone ringing. of the clarity of that day, etched in her mind forever. of hearing from my mom that I was coming, of putting down the phone, packing up the car and heading to me - driving 12 straight hours - and how that day i saved her life. she spoke of her love for this brand new chapter, this new life, a rejuvenation and new found purpose for her. she was a grandmother. her love knew no bounds. she wasn't shy with her emotions and telling us how important we were to her. how important the life of a child is to an entire family.

my nan really did show me the meaning of love. her motto always was, you can never have too many people in the world that love you. i do my best to remind myself of that. when she died we all mourned losing her presence with us, but i really try and remember the amazing lessons my nan taught me while she and i were together. i'm lucky in that i get to see her love in action these days. if you saw my brother's boys with my mom, you would see what i mean. my nephew L., was born 1 month to the day after my father left my mother for another woman. my nephew's birth saved her life in that same way my grandmother's was with my arrival. that i know. she is now modelling her relationship with her own grandchildren on the one we had with our nan, with her mother. it's beautiful to see. history is so funny. the future is so possible.

so, today i am thinking of you nan, wherever you are. i'll look for the butterfly you sometimes appear as, the one that dives at the cat, or that bird i know you were that day. and i am thinking of love. amazing, unconditional love and possibilities.

♥ leel

a preview: ♥ pinkie ♥

here is a little tidbit of a preview for your eyes: pinkie. i've been experimenting on a vintage suitcase table with a new type of paint application that doesn't require ventilation. i still have mixed feelings, but hey, i usually hit the point where i hate whatever i'm working on right about now, so no big deal. i know i'll be happy with the result once i finally make all the last few decisions on colours etc. so yes, fun! i have a pile of suitcases to work on, so let me ask. Any colour combo's you think might be superfun? what about another solid coloured one, like Bambi?

♥ leel

nothing ventured, nothing lost

i figured that since tomorrow would be the 4 month mark of not blogging that enough is enough, time to post. my absence doesn't stem from lack to tell, it stems from laziness and fear and all the bs that i find myself convinced is real. i'm in a strange head space. one i've never been in before. it's focus is failure, it's fuel fear. for the first time since i graduated from university and took a full-time job i have no idea what to do with my career. truly. i have 62 slivers of possibility, but nothing glaringly clear. it's all murk and fog and, as someone recently described, feels a lot like running in water.

my anxiety is humming at a high pitch, naturally. we all know i don't do change well. i resist and fight and fortune tell ridiculous outcomes and then laugh at myself later when i finally accept something new. i know this about myself. but still, i feel like i have slid back a few holes on the ole panic belt. i had a panic attack the morning of my departure for hawaii, calling my husband* and telling him i didn't think i could get on the plane. the thought of having to endure 3 flights alone, suddenly sent me into a tizzy. not pretty. yes, i got on the plane, thank you ativan, yes, i was fine, and yes, it was worth it. but it still happened and then yet again a few more times in hawaii. some more since we've returned. i don't think experiencing a tsunami evacuation helped much. so there's that.

in addition to or as a result of, i'm not sure, my confidence has taken a beating. i need to fix that. like, stat. i need a plan, stan. i used to be fearless when it came to jobs, taking on new challenges, being confident in my abilities, confident in my ability to write, lead a meeting, in my ability to talk to anybody. i feel very small and quiet right now. i guess i just imagined my career somehow more cemented by now, 15 years after graduating. not back at the beginning, disconnected from pretty much everyone, somewhere messed up in the middle. middle age is weird. or seems so right now, anyway.

but, it's spring. and i hold faith in spring, it's abilities to renew my depleted energy, turn my frown upside-down. i've started uncovering the gardens and looking at the returning growth, raking up all the deadness of last year and throwing it out of site. making it all new and fresh and full of new possibilities for the coming spring days and summer nights.

i'm officially exploring this whole career thing in an official way. getting some help defining my next steps. so that feels good. and yet, because i AM that girl, it seems scary and paralyzing and exhilarating all in one big fat hold-it-in-as-long-as-you-can breath. next comes writing out a plan, editing my resume and cleaning out the studio FOR REAL. I need to make some space for the magic to happen. it's coming. i can feel it.

but enough about me how are you?

♥ leel

*the bub was stuck in L.A. on his way to Hawaii. his initial response after hello: "what? i can't hear you? hey, wait a sec... hey, that's JERRY SEINFELD looking at an old porsche. JERRY SEINFELD bub!!! He's wearing a blazer and jeans and white running shoes and a baseball hat and sunglasses and looking at a porsche right outside the window from me!!! Holy shit!! (I had to yell at that point.) The end.

a quick, free, holiday *spruce up yur shack* project

I linger on the twitter. I am never without inspiration that way, you see. Enter: this post. The other day Rene (aka @ffantastica and blogger http://fruityfantastica.tumblr.com/ ) mentioned on the twitter that she and her girl (her beloved 10 year old daughter) were cutting out paper snowflakes. BAM. True Morag Gunn *Memory Movie Bank* stuff. I remember sitting at the dining room table making snowflakes throughout my childhood. I remember the concentration and focus of making those mysterious folds, then the intricate cuts, the wonder and excitement leading up to the unfolding of each and every one. Awaiting to see what unique form I had created. Why did I stop? I loved that feeling. No reason. Adulthood, perhaps? No reason.
.
The next day I started randomly checking through some of my fave online sites for inspiration. Not snowflake inspiration, just some sort of Project inspiration. Naturally I stumbled upon a post on how to make snowflakes and that got this going. I sent the link to Ms. Rene for her and her daughter to add to their inspiration file, and kept digging. Soon enough I had accumulated the instructions for a variety of patterns for 5 and 6 sided snowflakes. Then I gave in.

I gathered some magazines that I knew would have some pretty coloured pages and started folding and snipping away. Smallish, sharp scissors are best. The first few were a challenge, I must admit. But once I got the folding down I plopped myself on my dining room bench, threw a holiday movie on the laptop and away I went. I found the easiest way to keep it neat and not lose my mind in magazine cuttings was to first go through all the magazines and pull out the pages I wanted. Then I got rid of the magazines. I also made sure to have something to throw all the cutting and scraps into as I went. Theses accumulate quickly and the chaos soon makes me cranky so this works best for me. After completing many, I decided to attach them all in a grouping on the back of my front door with simple invisible tape. Ok, here are my results:

Please refer to these great links for step-by-step instructions and design ideas!

.
How About Orange has a great five-sided snowflake blogpost here:

http://howaboutorange.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-to-make-5-pointed-paper-snowflakes.html

Allison Gryski blogged about the amazing options of six-sided snowflakes in two spots!:

http://allison.gryski.com/2010/11/tutorial-paper-snowflakes-with-6-sides.html
http://allison.gryski.com/2010/12/lacy-paper-snowflake-tutorial-and.html

Hope you are all well and getting through the dark days of the year. Only 8 more until the days get longer!

Keep on keepin' on,

♥ leel

the: holiday, book challenge, hero meeting, update

Hey, it's December! I'm back!

.

Ok, not back-back. But pushing through this blogger anxiety for a moment to jump in and write a bit. I've been all over the map. not literally, but mentally for sure. fine then not, excited then comatose, busy busy busy then dead. this fall I've been working 3 totally unrelated jobs. this means gardening and building shrub covers one day, putting up christmas decorations in atriums all over downtown buildings the next, then running to a film festival to work the evening. again, a life of many many hats. Have I mentioned how I have an acute and lasting case of the Novembers? That *omg I can't believe I have to live through another Canadian winter and it's dark and every thing's dead and it's going to go one for MONTHS* feeling? Yah. Bigtime. Luckily I was so busy with the other 3 gigs that I didn't really have that much time to notice. It was a busy and exciting fall for me.

.

So here we are, coming up to mid December. A mixed-bag of emotions for many, this time of year. I am no exception. My mother's house has been vomited upon by the bug of the Season for a month now. She loves her some decorating. After decorating buildings around town for a couple of weeks a girl can only resist the holiday season joy so long without jumping in hands waving, leading the conga line. An ornament exchange never hurts either. So, I got into It. I decided to unpack my tree and go through decorations and get this place looking at least semi-festive. I pulled out my great-grandmother's cardboard village houses for the first time in years. So delicate and simple. I love them. I found a small reminder of my past in there. my family. of Before. a trigger. a teenie tiny die cast miniature of a car we had, hand-painted white by my mom no doubt, to represent ours. a white convertible. i hated and loved that car. for many reasons. and there it was, in the bottom of 30 year old Laura Secord boxes. jabbing me in the chest and transporting me to the past. bam. so yah. that stuff still grabs. I imagine everyone has their stuff grabbed at by the past this time of year. so a fist bump to you. this too shall pass.

.

The 52 books in 52 weeks challenge I inflicted upon myself in January is still in full swing. I have to read 8 books in 22 days to meet my goal, but I'm optimistic. It gets dark at 4pm right now. Reading, is like, number 2 on my preferred activities roster. Second only to napping. It could happen. I'm also debating on counting the two books that I read 150 pages of and tossed aside in anger in frustration. My tendency is to say they don't count, but then again, they do. Meh. Details. Still reading, still loving it.

.

This past week I went to see my hero Rt. LGen Romeo Dallaire speak about his new initiative to abolish the use of child soldiers. My superfriend Kez and I scoped out the book signing area and seated ourselves in the 2nd row, closest to that table as possible. Success! When he walked into the room, 5 feet from where we were sitting, and I saw him with my own two eyes, I gasped. There he was. Witness of all witnesses. A man who wrestles with his demons daily and still will not stop. Not stop fighting for the rights of children, of people. People others announced to him were and are worthless. He continues. And I met him. I met him. I met him. I met him. I just had to keep typing that for some reason. To make it real. I was third in line to have my book signed. Yup, that girl. I hid under my baseball hat, books in hand. He looked up at me. He Looked AT Me. With those steel blue eyes that have seen so much. I gasped again. He commented on my wonderful taste in reading, and I mumbled something about how wonderful they, his words, are in reply, with a chuckle. Then, I took a breath and I said it: You are my hero. He chuckled a humble, Thank You, and asked me my name, I played with my scarf, and told him. I watched as he wrote my name out. Keeley. My name. With his hand. The same hand, I imagined, that held the phone to tell the world what was happening in Rwanda. Gasp. He signed my books while asking what brought me there, what I study. I told him I have a degree in Anthropology and am interested in studying Human Rights. He replied with a booming "Excellent! You need to USE that Anthropology degree!" THAT was a first. I had never had such an enthusiastic response to my education choice. Squints and Oh's aplenty, never an Excellent! My hero was excited by my choice. I am fueled. I am reconsidering my choices. I am empowered, you could say, by a few small words. So yah, I met my hero last week. And as Robert Frost would say, That has made all the difference.

..

So that's what's up in crazytown. Shopping and cleaning and scheduling up the ying ying.

.

I hope you are all kicking away the blahs and if you can't today, there is always tomorrow. Hugs for everyone.

.

♥ leel

hiding

bear with me dear reader.
it's been a while.
and i'm sweating and shaking, something that started as i contemplated pressing Sign In.
why do i do this?
this here and gone pattern. that's what i've been trying to figure out, i guess.
what my deal is. who i've become.
so many identities. so many lives.
so little processing, just moving on, never stopping always moving.
i am that rolling stone.
i have no moss.
maybe a few hanging moss roots, straglers, fibrous strength of potential renewal, but no moss to touch and feel. the softness is so hard now to the touch.

in between the gaps of withdrawl, contraction, there are wonderful things happening.
things i've worked for.
and yet for some reason i need to keep those things to myself.
keep them inside the little embroydered coin purse of myself, there to clutch and click open to sneak a peek of the amazing wonderful hidden inside for my eyes only.
i need to keep those things for myself for a while.
not spoiled by another. the potential remarks, judgements i will always have in my imagination. not seen.
to be unseen seems to be the goal here.
man i'm a nutcase.

i've been hanging out with artists and film makers and animators.
can you tell?
i feel a film in me. potentially.
so there's that. scary stuff, all of it.

i keep imagining what it would be like to meet some of the people i have grown connected to online.
you know who you are.
we discuss it, the fun of being all together and so I wonder, what would you really think of me in real life, in comparison to this impression i have given you of myself here, on this blog or on twitter?

i don't know.
i guess that's the problem right now.
i need someone to jump into my brain and clear out the mess, organize my files, make all the decisions to stop the anxiety from taking over again.
you know.
my own worst enemy sort of stuff.

so, yah...

oh fall, see what you do to me?

love you longtime,
leel

the situation.

i'm not really feeling the point, the desire, the drive to blog.
i have nothing to say. nothing to share.
so that's why i'm not here.
i'm not elsewhere, i'm just not here.
i'm over here. and there. and nowhere.

i'll be back.

wordless wednesday

♥ leel

ps. check out all that's wordless here.

we are muslim

Today Adam Avitable, an American blogger I follow/have grown to love like an imaginary sibling, has taken a sidestep from all his usual humourous rantings and sketches and given religion and peace center stage.

.

I needed to share. Plus, it's September 11th today and some crazyass has just finally announced he's calling off his international book burning party of ignorant hatred and fear. Well, that's what I've come to think of it as. Anyway. Back to the point: Progress.

In his introduction to We Are Muslim, the new movement and website Adam has started, he writes:

.

What is “We Are Muslim”?

We are Making a United Stand to eLiminate Intolerance against Muslims.

Muslims are everywhere. They are our friends. Our neighbors. Our family. Our peers. Our colleagues. Our fellow Americans. Our fellow world citizens. And they are not terrorists. They are not dangerous or irrational or fanatics. They are peaceful and loving and kind. They are human.

We have a history of looking for scapegoats and of relying on stereotypes and rash assumptions to create a false sense of security. The Japanese Americans who were interred 60 years ago can tell you about that. The people who were branded “Communists” by the fear-mongering Joseph McCarthy can attest to this fact... (continue to read more)

So, to show my support, I am posting the widget in my sidebar. I hope you might be inspired enough to do so as well.

peace and kindness to you all,

♥ leel

amazing music monday :: DO FUN STUFF ::

Who loves music? EVERYONE. Kids, adults, all of us. SO you HAVE to check this out: An amazing album of music written for adults AND kids! Something that won't make you wanna poke your ears! I KNOW! HOORAY! Go no further than a click below.

Ryan of Pacing the Panic Room has lovingly pulled together an album of specially written tunes that both kids and adults can enjoy to help research Smith Magenis Syndrome (SMS), a genetic condition that affects his sweet son LB.

ALL of the money goes to help research SMS. I enourage you to download the album on iTunes and share it with any kid in your life - my nephews will soon have their own copy to groove to. I just know my brother and sister in law are going to approve!

Rabbit? Radical Face? Astronautalis? ALL on there. So, Just GO!

♥ leel

Apartment Details: A Vintage Suitcase DIY

My *love of vintage suitcase tables* envelope is sealed with a big fat sloppy kiss. It's official. It only made sense then that I would include one in the apartment I recently designed.

I started off with a medium sized suitcase and decided to use a basic wooden stool that's roughly 30 inches tall for the base and legs. I found each piece at the Salvation Army Store for about $5 each. Once I made my design decisions I spray primed and painted each piece; the base white and the entire case a light green. To assemble them, I simply screwed the suitcase to the top of the stool.

I decided on a natural paper top for this one. I made sure to pick a sturdy paper, one with real grass and yellow flowers that suited to feel I was going for in the room. I laid out the paper on top, went around the edge with my finger to emboss the edges of the top into the paper, and cut it out with scissors. I podged the paper to the top, allowed it to dry and then add a super thick 2nd coat to protect and seal it all in. I love results! A prefect spot for plants and a perfect storage spot inside the case as well.

So there you have it. Another suitcase table is complete!

Stay tuned for more DIY's to come :)

♥ leel

The Big Re-Design Reveal

It's here! The big reveal. The word on the street is: She ♥ Loves ♥ It! I am so happy she approves and feels comfortable in this new space to call her own. If you haven't any idea of what I am talking bout, past posts lay out the back story, check them out for more details, as well as the stories behind the living room and dining room chair projects.

.

Onward!
.

Existing furnishings/objects: a table, 2 uncovered dining room chairs, 2 dressers, 2 shelving units a double mattress & box spring, a duvet/cover and a futon, shoe rack and various other plants, housewares etc.

Items/Projects brought in: bed frame, living room chairs, futon cover, curtains, curtain over mirror, curtain and backboard/whiteboard for shelving unit, entrance mirror & hooks, painted the lamps + new shades, dining table lantern light, vintage suitcase table, DIY terrarium project, throw pillows, a bookstool table, 2 paintings, an entrance way mat & living room rug, 2 embroidery projects, a fish bowl, and various other kitchen and household accessories and plants.

Here are the pictures. Keep in mind the apartment was full with stuff that required shuffling and stacking when I took these. I know. I know. I could have done them before. I work well under pressure and am not a pro photographer. ANYWAY. Let's just look at some (of the awkward) pictures.

.

BEFORE

And, AFTER!

.

So those are the final results. I will be focusing in on some of the other projects I took on in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!
.
♥ leel

pictures, pretty pictures.

welcome to a distraction post!

i finished the apartment re-design last night round 8pm.

i am photographing the results today.

i will be blogging some individual projects as well as the before & after.

for now, there are pretty pictures.

a few from around my garden, to be precise.

so there you have it.

♥ leel

a quick After post. another set of chairs!

The next project I decided to tackle in my apartment make-over design challenge was the dining area chairs. Julz had two chairs from Ikea that simply needed covers made for them. These two chairs were from different years with one being older and one brand new, still in the box. Slightly different in scale, but the exact same shape chair. It was super easy to cover these. Less than 3 hours to do both from start to finish. The fabric I chose matches the main colour of the room and the main palette chosen. The wood legs are light, just like the flooring and living room chairs. kinda comme ça:

I made sure the chairs were both apart, not assembled, so I could cover the back and seat sections separately and then assemble the chairs afterward. It was much easier that way and allowed for tucking and stapling fabric along the inside much easier. The secret, for me, is pinning. I pinned the fabric (wrong side out) on the chair back, smoothing and pinning the entire way around the edges, essentially giving myself a row of pins to follow on the machine when sewing. I carefully pulled the fabric off, sewed the side seams and then put it back on the chair to check for fit and to pin the corners down to create a boxed top and a defined edge for the sides.

.

Once I was happy with the corners at the top I again, slipped the cover off and sewed the flattened corners, making a neat tight boxed top thingy. (sorry, I'm not a pro. clearly.) I trimmed the edges, turned it right side out and put the cover on the chair. I then stapled the bottom edges to the underside of the chair with my super awesome electric stapler, and was done the back portion.

The seat portion was even easier. I KNOW. No sewing involved. Just me, a square piece of fabric and my stapler. I simply placed the fabric face down on the table, placed the seat face down on it, pulled the fabric up and over the bottom of the chair and stapled it to the inside edge. Making my way around, starting at the middle of each side, I continued with each side making sure to check for consistent tension and smoothness as I went. The corners were carefully trimmed, tucked and stapled and that was it, done. I re-assembled the chairs, and bam, that was it. SO EASY. In total I used about 2.5 meters of fabric. I purchased 3 meters, an still have lots left over for cushions and fun fabricy projects. yay!

So there you have it: A sneak peak of the dining area chairs. I just love how these have turned out and am anxious to see them in the final design!

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful friday.

♥ leel

p.s. wanna see what project i'm working on right now? Check this out... Blog @ ya' later!

a before & after post :: 2 chairs for julz ::

this is my life, right now. dining room office? why not.

So this is a superfun post for me to write! It's the first in a before & after series centering around a 1 room apartment (shared bath & kitchen) in a beautiful humongo brick house in downtown Ottawa. I am redesigning for a friend/client, Julz. She's a university student and wants to be able to have friends over to study and not have it so it feels like everyone is sitting in her bedroom. We sat down before she left and agreed it would be perfect for 3 distinct areas: an eating/meal prep area, a living/sitting area and a sleeping area. We also decided to create a bit of an entrance way.

This rented room is fairly straight forward, shape wise, it's a 14' x 21' rectangle. Think high ceilings, an entire wall of windows equipped with rods and new white blinds, 10" high baseboard mouldings... gorgeous. Two equal size closets are next to the entrance way, both with shelves and rods built in. Perfect for storage. The floors are light hardwood and the room is a soft warm creamy yellow. Very easy to work with, especially since they aren't keen on us painting, which I totally understand. I probably wouldn't let me paint either, if I were the landlord.

So at this point I've been at it for a week now and have managed to get a plan written/drawn out including 2 possible layouts for the 3 distinct areas, as well as most of my fabric purchased. I was matching fabric to a new duvet cover Julz wanted to use on her bed, so I needed 3 co-ordinating fabrics. We're going for a bohemian beach garden feel. yah. that. (I'll should wrangle up an inspiration post to show you the overall feel, with pics, to get that point across, I see. I'll get to that.)

ANYway, my first project was to recover 2 chairs for the living room. I have had these kicking around for a while, awaiting the perfect home and the perfect fabric. Once those decisions were out of the way *woohoo* I tore apart one of the fitted covers to use as a pattern and reserved the other for reference while sewing. I labeled the pieces so I could keep track. It was pretty straight forward, just a lot of pressing and pinning and sewing slow straight lines. I was so excited to see these chairs come to life, I can't wait to see the room together with the other fabrics chosen. Here's what I speak of:

before: in my backyard. p.s. i actually weed weekly.

after: in my own living room, not the final location. evil sweet dog not included.

It feels wonderful to have this first project complete and delivered to the apartment and project 2 soon underway. I'll be sure to share bits as they come together, but I also want to make sure to save some details for the grand finale. I'll be sure to get some formal Before pictures of the room as well for a final comparison post in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for all that craziness!

♥ leel