creativity clog; if only that was a new shoe

i have so many expectations, plans, goals, interests, projects on the go that i sorta spun myself into a little frenzy up in here (points to head).

my creativity is clogged. there's a bottleneck somewhere between my brain and my hands in the creative process. i suspect this little brainstorming session (what i like to think this just might be) may result in some steady waves of posts from this point out.

when I'm not creating, I'm not posting to my creative blog either, now am I? so, i apologize to my faithful reader of one for not posting for a while - seems there is some cloggage in the bloggage as well. oh my, i so kill me. no really, i'm laughing.

what i have been up to is the usual spring routine cleaning out the yard (its 62x140... ya) garage, and all the gardens, gathering old rugged furniture together and starting to refinishing them, contemplating the path to enlightenment, and reorganizing this ever effing evolving office/studio space. oh, and a little tornado that went by our house. i was in the backyard, ironically enough taking pictures of the crazy stormy sky JUST before the rain, and apparently a tornado went by 2 streets over. I was taking pictures of the sky over the other side of the neighbourhood, naturally. yikes. not one of my more intelligent moments considering the trees around our yard. i did catch a couple of cool sky and windy day picks, however. art geeks ftw!

some the pics of our tornado-y sky - not b&w: colour. windy!

and then there is my stormy family crap. which seems amplified by my upcoming b.day. this year has felt rough, and i'm dreading one inevitable emotional conversation that will likely come with that day. like, i wanna barf just thinking about it. maybe I'll just get a card in the mail, the usual format these days. the angst is heavvvvvy. so i suspect that has added to my absense and turtling too. apparently i may have needed to spill that too.

some great news is the i have finished the process for a government job. i'll be a researcher/ project assistant on actual projects with the feds. i'm excited about the changeup from procurement, writing proposals, communications crap etc. and a steady job with the feds and all its benefits, 92% of full pay for your entire maternity leave - a year - and a 5 year job guarantee with it as well, "summer hours", room to move all around different departments after a year, pension, salary, the whole kit n kaboodle.

except i wanna be a full time artsy funtime me girl. so - that little dream is on hold. we need to pay some stuff down, think about kids, and THEN the full time thing can happen. all the while i'll be experimenting with a few different mediums, trying to really narrow down a series idea, get my photos back in check, relearn gimp, and get blogging all the stuff i've been researching on and planning about... oh, plans plans plans...

now that i have some stuff in order, and this little post almost done, i feel better already.

funny how that works - sometimes you just need to start to remember how great it feels to DO something you love, have been putting off and avoiding. and putting it into words for any one person to read. man being human is weird. weird, but interesting at least.

can you tell i really am a maniac some days? can you guess what type of day today is?

it's a great day, actually. regardless of everything else, every day is really amazing.

love to the lovebugs,

♥ leel ♥

ps. colourful artlove to come. girl guide swear.